Self Improvement Tips For Optimum Performance » supporting yourself

Deal with Tension Within

Magdalene Meduoye — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 09:49:16 +0000

Most of us spend a lot of our time and energy on negotiating our way through relationship issues and sometimes ignore the tension within us. If you have fallen for this dilemma, it is time to take a step sideways. The issues inside you have the tendency of derailing all the efforts that you are putting into your relationships.

When the feelings within you have indicated the causes of tension in individuals or in a group, it is time to think of ways of addressing the issues identified.

Ignoring this vital information could lead to serious consequences………….

Successful Surfers Learn To Catch the Waves

Magdalene Meduoye — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 07:23:24 +0000

When you are about to hit the jackpot, there is usually a period of intense searching and asking questions. It is as if nature says, the treasure that you are about to receive requires you to give time and energy to get it. I hope this article will be one of those tools that would make you into a successful surfer in the journey of self improvement and development.
The tension created by the desire to find answers and change in circumstances is usually like the waves to a surfer. I think that the surfer needs to learn the act of surfing in order to make the best use of the waves as they appear. It is wise to avoid perceiving the discomfort that you feel as indicators of your unworthiness, the likelihood that you would never make it or that the task is impossible.
How many of those giving up pills have you taken recently? Do you think it was a wise decision? How many more of these chances for growth and development are you going to walk away from because you are unwilling to pay the price?
I will like to share an alternative attitude that I think will change your life forever. What about accepting pain as a fair price to pay for success. I think if you do this, you will acknowledge the pain but persist in finding the answers that will bring growth and advancement in all areas of your life.
I am slowly coming to terms with this fact- people who walk away from challenges usually do not ask questions that will lead them into searching for answers; search and find alternative solutions; act on some of the strategies found during the search; and sustain growth and development by repeating the above process.
Life seems to be waiting to give success to those who are willing to pay the price. I think you would benefit from learning how to catch the opportunities for self development contained in your challenges by riding the waves.
Firstly, allow yourself to be reconciled to the last failure that you experienced. You might be wondering why this is an important part of the journey. When you learn from an experience rather than stewing on the impact of the failure, you release yourself to learn as much as you can from your current situation. Allowing yourself to be saddled with the weight of guilt, fear and anxiety associated with previous failures will distract; reduce motivation; intensify hurt and might cause you to give up.
Secondly, choose an easy challenge if this is your first attempt as surfing the waves of your challenges.
Thirdly, pick the right challenge. For example you may have done badly in a recent examination and you are facing a tirade of criticism from your friends, colleagues and yourself. I think you need to change your attitude to your performance in the examination.
Fourthly, begin to ask questions, search for answers, decide on actions, try out some of the solutions chosen and reward yourself for engaging on the journey.
Finally, continue to take action and be confident and assured that such engagement in the challenges of life produces growth and development.
Enjoy your journey in sustainable advancement and growth.

Handling Challenging Situations with Integrity

Magdalene Meduoye — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 07:02:47 +0000

Integrity is a very important tool as we seek to live lives that are not limited by our circumstances and committed to using our challenges as tools for growth and development. It is important that you learn to be true to yourself. There are different definitions of the word ‘integrity’- adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty; the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished; a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition.
It is important that we deal with our thoughts, feelings and environment with integrity.

Have you found yourself in a mess because of your lack of integrity? Is there an area of your life that has caused you a lot of pain and discomfort over a period of time? Your feelings, thoughts and other information sources were telling you that things are not alright in this area and that you needed to do something to repair the damage that was being done. It is unhelpful to ignore your feelings and a call to action, to take you to a safer place. Avoid the danger of treating yourself as if you do not deserve to be heard. You deserve to be taken seriously and helped to get what you really need to be happy.
This lack of integrity will consequently lead to a bigger problem than you anticipate. Do you know how you feel when it looks and feels like this is the end of the road; you will get to a point where you begin to feel that you cannot take anymore? That’s alright, but there is a way out. You need to choose to adopt the perspective that there is a pathway to self improvement and growth in this storm. You simply need to find the necessary action that will promote the reaction that you need to take you to a safe place again. If you have ignored the insight in this article and you are now paying the price for that unhelpful strategy, there is a way out. Retrace your steps and begin again.
Firstly, go back to listening to your feelings? How are you feeling today? Avoid trying to make yourself better by choosing to cover up your true feelings. Remember that the true feeling will determine what happens next. When you do that, the action you take will not be sufficient to change your situation and bring you into a better place. I mean listen to your true feelings. Avoid, being persuaded to create a feeling of utopia based on what your friends are telling you. Have you noticed how your friends in an attempt to make you feel better quickly tell you the things that they really think you should hear? They have good intentions but that is not going to change your reality the way that you want.
Secondly, collect information about your thoughts. What are your thoughts? Do you think your thoughts are a call for help? If this is the case, you need to begin to find the help that you really need. Not the help that your friends think you need but what you really need. Your thoughts whether negative or positive are sources of invaluable information.
Thirdly, collect information about the situation from other sources. It is important that you collect these and act on them. Resist the likelihood of choosing to change the data because you want to feel good. When you adopt this strategy, it is like storing up trouble for tomorrow. Your intention is to create a better tomorrow for yourself y using all the information available to map the way forward.
Remind yourself of the opportunity for growth that this situation that you are facing currently offers you. Write down you list of benefits. Do not rush over this process because it will become the anchor that keeps you stable as you navigate the storm. The journey to make the challenge a success story will take you to lots of places- some will be painful and you will be tempted to give up. Anytime you feel like giving up, read your list again. Giving up creates a giant monster of guilt and an increase in the sense of failure.
Check your beliefs and allow these to shape your perspective. Act with integrity.
Enjoy your journey in self improvement and development.

Handling Challenging Situations : Create and Share Stories

Magdalene Meduoye — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 16:31:48 +0000

I struck gold today as I listened to the story of how one of my friends faced a challenging situation through listening and creating stories. When I met her for the first time, I did not realise how much the power of stories will shape our relationship. We decided we would meet fortnightly to chat about different topics.
The act of storytelling is a formidable tool for learning how to deal with challenging situations. Stories tell you different ways of dealing with issues; reveal the consequences of wrong approach to challenges; the benefits of creating a story that supports your personal development; the risk of not taking control of your own interests; the opportunities contained in each challenge and the limitless nature of the capacity of individuals to shape their own self-development. Unfortunately, we seem to drift away from the natural use of storytelling as a tool for developing a vast repertoire of strategies for success in the face of diverse challenges. I am suggesting that we need to renew and rekindle out interest in stories. I think it is one of the safest and most effective ways to grow and make progress in all areas of personal development.
I am slowly earning that the stories are more powerful if they have a face and name to them. For many years, I did not realise how important it was to take personal control of my career until I met with a friend who was keen to share how taking control of her career has proved significant to her career progress. She insisted that there are no alternatives to individual taking control of their own career. Now, I can understand why she has continued to make progress in the direction that she chooses. Wow! Somebody has to be in control, if you are not, who is?
I think one of the reasons why this story shaped my thinking ad encouraged me to take control of my career is that I have lived in the world of no control hat leads to the growth in the feeling of helplessness; apathy; discouragement and anxiety. F you do not want these feelings, begin to take control. Decide on where you want to be and arrange how to get there. When you find that you lack the motivation to persevere in getting to the destination that you have decided, check the destination again. Is it really, what you want? If it is, you will not need anything but the desire to achieve the goal to keep you on the task.
Do not forget to share your stories with others because it will provide the vital insight required for them to achieve their goals and for you to continue to live the life of your dream.
Enjoy your journey in personal development.

Handling Challenging Situations: Being with likeminded people

Magdalene Meduoye — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 12:39:21 +0000

Thanks to the blogger who marked this article as interesting and expressed a desire to continue to follow this topic in the future. That expression of desire compelled me to start writing another article under the same heading. What shall I say! It has been an eventful journey for me and I am sure you have your own story to tell too. There is a great power is sharing our stories because they become like the light from a lighthouse, showing the direction and sometimes revealing the dangers in the path ahead. I wonder what this article will do in your life, but I must tell l you that I am expecting to progress on my journey of self-improvement and growth as I write.
The act of facing challenging situations is an important part of living. Most of us would prefer to ignore this fact. The danger with this attitude is that challenges are not prepared for. We are likely to make decisions that prove unhelpful. One of the tools that I have found very helpful is surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals that become an integral part of your journey.
Let me tell you a story to reveal the importance of this strategy – The Managing Director of a company was thinking of ways of improving on the quality of services provided by his company. The Marketing Director was a key figure in his strategic plan but the Managing Director knew that for the strategy to work, he needed the contribution of all the employees. He called a meeting and invited all the employees to give their own insight on the way ahead. There was a wise man sitting close to the door, as the guests arrived. He felt that an unusual member of the company was indeed carrying the greatest idea for the future growth of the company. Consequently, he informed the Managing Director and suggested that this process should run its course. You could sense the rumble of disquiet in the room by some of the participants, because they felt they were wasting time and that the delay would be very costly. After careful deliberation with some members of the strategic planning team, the Managing Director chose to focus on the painstaking collection of information about the way ahead. The process continued to unfold while the Director kept a vigilant eye on the process. A soft speaking participant raised a point, that seemed to take the discussion to a new level, each time it seemed the whole process was about to stall. At the end, the company made some changes that resulted in the company achieving its goal within a shorter time scale than anticipated.
You might be thinking you are not a company, so what does this story have to say to you….. I want to suggest that managing your personal development is like running a company. The strategies that are successful in a business context are likely to be successful in your personal life. Ensure that likeminded individuals that will support you and facilitate your self-development surround you. Make sure that the person you choose to allow into this programme of self-development is credible and reliable.
The fact that you need the contribution of others in the process of personal growth is an accepted fact but choosing who the right person for you might be is a trickier affair. I cannot claim that I know all the answers to the selection process but I might be able to give you some of the benefits of my experience. I think one of the key to recognising the right person for you is a careful appraisal of the character of the individuals that you are thinking of involving in your journey. Think carefully about what you know about this person. Allowing the wrong person into your private space of developing competency in handling challenging situations is like inviting danger and facing the likelihood of being hurt.
I am convinced that learning the tools for dealing successfully with challenging situations is a team sport. I think being aware of the contribution of all the people that you meet is healthy and beneficial.
Enjoy your journey in self-development.

Dealing With Your Feelings

Magdalene Meduoye — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 11:04:48 +0000

Dealing with your feeling is an important part of striving for self improvement. I think an effective way of dealing with your feeling is to listen to what your feeling is telling you by writing them down. Ignoring, squashing or undermining the power of your feeling to impact your performance is counterproductive. When you adopt these strategies, you are invariably at war with yourself.

Listen and learn from your feelings .

Today is a day of continual improvement in all areas of your ife.

Supporting Yourself Through Change

Magdalene Meduoye — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 10:52:42 +0000

I think one of the best ways of supporting yourself, when you are facing the need to change, is by being honest about the challenges that you would have to overcome to achieve the improvement in performance needed.

If facing the reality of the work required causes stress, take a minute to congratulate yourself for what you have achieved so far.

When I congratulated myself for what I had achieved so far, I felt good about myself. I know I can achieve my goal of improving in all areas, as I continue to support myself on this journey.

Congratulating yourself could be as simple as writing “Well done——-” with your name in the space on a piece of paper.

Remember to read it out loud to yourself.